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Portfolio

Find my selfportrait projects on here.

Hand auf den Bauch

Selfportraits

"In der U-Bahn.
Möchte gerne weinen, stattdessen trage ich einen Kloß in meiner Kehle mit nach Hause
In meiner Tasche trage ich ein Paket, in dem Paket ein Buch, fast 3 kg, „keine leichte Kost“.
Wirklich schwer ist es nicht, so lange es verpackt ist. Ich kann nicht warten es zu öffnen. Dankbar bin ich.
Dankbar und ängstlich. ...."

Anatomy of a goodbye

Selfportraits

I´m not ready to let go

Purple Foxglove

Selfportraits

On my pathetic sunshine walk

I saw a purple foxglove growing from a concrete sidewalk

Fearing the sunlights observaviton

I walked past it

...

Lost again

Selfportraits

I´d like to get lost

in your skin

I´d like to get lost

in the air you breathe tonight

oh I´d like

to get lost

again

Timeless

Selfportraits

Just skin and light and me.

A series of classical nude selfportrait photos, with a painterly touch.

I can´t keep repeating

Selfportraits

CN: Eating Disorder

I can´t keep repeating the same vicious cycle over and over again.

But what if I don´t want to recover?

For me, the strings I am entagled in symbolise feeling trapped in the behavioural and emotional patterns of an eating disorder.

Dysmorphia

Selfportraits

"Ich versank in der mir vertrauten Ferne

In mir von meinem sein entremdet

In meiner, mir entfernten Form

Und wie erneut mir Nebel in die Augen kroch

Schien Glas zwischen mich und meine Welt zu fließen

Mich in meiner Ferne einzuschließen

Und wie in allen Wänden meines Denkens
Unendlich meine Stimme widerhallte

Und sich einander vervielfachend

zu Nebel, zu Glas, zu Ferne gesellte

Schien die Wirklichkeit mir zu entgleiten

Licht empfing mich

Als ich der Wirklichkeit entglitt"

So

Selfportraits

So alone

So alive

So in love

So empty

So ashamed

So tired

So scared

So hungry

Nebel

Selfportraits

"Siehst du die Leere

Das Loch dass der Hunger in mich hinein getragen hat

Den Nebel der in meine Augen kriecht

Und ein Gesicht dass zwischen Nebelschwaden blitzt

Ich seh doch wie du schaust

Dich blind stellend und dann hinein fallend

Um wieder zu verwehn"

Lace

Selfportraits

Selfportrait-Series shot in my small Bedroom-Studio.
A while ago I woudn´t have thought, that lingerie could make me feel gender euphoria. I think it means I´m more confident about my own personal gender expression and the fact that clothes aren´t gendered.

(Not) My Body

Selfportraits

A quarrel with my body, my gender dysphoria and therefore my chest area, a dispute with my body dysmorphia, an insight on the harsh communication with my physical appearance and a careful approach to coming home.

Walls

Selfportraits

A set of selfportrait photos shot in the outdoor hotel bathroom in Thailand. The walls and the natural light coming from above where screaming for me to do a selfportrait session. My camera almost broke from the humidity and tropical climate, but I hope it was worth it.

Softness

Selfportraits

A selfstudy of my body, refusing the male gaze, saying "fuck you" to sexualizing people and body parts without consent, this is my body and showing it is no invitation to comment on it and judge it.

You are trapped

Selfportraits

Living with a mental illness can feel like being trapped, like you are merely surviving and enduring instead of living. It´s difficult to choose life and not just accepting it like a burden that was imposed on you.
Someone once told me: "with every meal you eat - you choose life", that made me think.

Let it go

Selfportraits

A selfportrait project, about how remembering can be painful and yet necessery for healing.
When it comes to trauma recovery ist´s a difficult split between processing it and not obsessing about it. Between living in the present and accepting the past.

Non omnis moriar

Selfportraits

Not all of me will die.
A portrayal of a moment of contentment, of my sunkissed face on my bedroom floor and my eyes mirroring the blue sky.

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